What the heck is Umbra Interna?

For a very long time, I have been procrastinating making this blog entry. Last year, I was traveling through Guatemala, and every time I’m there, I always have artistic breakthroughs—probably the effect of the best coffee in the world and a consistent sleep schedule. I usually don’t tattoo while I’m there on my summer vacation and use the time to draw my brain and feelings out. I literally feel I tap into a cloud of ideas and inspiration that gives me enough material for the rest of the year, that only happens in the flow state.

There is a difference between creating commission art under a tight deadline for a client and when you are creating with absolute freedom, like a child without the fear of making mistakes and wasting precious time that I normally don’t have with the rush I live in NYC and traveling all over.

One of these breakthroughs happened when I identified the pressure that social media has on my work as a tattoo artist. Even though I thought that I was mature and able to separate myself from my tattoos, there is always an expectation based on my portfolio and what people expect from me and my work.

Especially with how algorithms work these days, in which artists create artwork and share their work thinking more about how something is going to be received and perform on social media, rather than finding true introspection and conveying a real message with their art.

I realized something needed to happen. In order to break free artistically, I had to create an alter ego—a separate entity that reflects my artistic journey without the preconceptions associated with my name and the expectations of the tattoo market. As an artist with ADHD, I am very familiar with wearing a mask and trying to fit in as a neurotypical person in today’s world, something that wears me down emotionally.

Carl Jung suggests that a person can only be truly free when they become aware of who they are—by recognizing the hidden parts of themselves and the masks they wear in the world.

Umbra Interna comes from the Latin “inner shadow,” which is a symbol of transformation and becoming aware of all the parts of myself I have rejected and suppressed, and setting myself free from the artistic prison of trying to cater to other people’s expectations. The irony of serving the art and not the audience is that now I have connected with an audience on a deeper level because the work is infused with a different energy that can be recognized, and some people gravitate to that. I will be sharing my philosophy and sketches, and hopefully some of these breakthroughs can help someone along the way.

Thank you for your time reading these words, and I hope to see you again in the shadows. Welcome to Umbra Interna.

The Seeker - Umbra Interna by Ruben Barahona